Yesterday, I finally got the chance to sit down and have coffee with a gentleman friend, to talk about my new business, The House of Clues, and get his take on a few things. I also wanted to ask him to join me in the teaching of processes that I don't feel comfortable taking on alone.
So we're talking, and I'm bouncing ideas off of him while we're shooting the breeze, and he kept coming back to the point of that I should be teaching what I know. Which is an even throw between obvious, helpful and non-helpful. Because it is, obviously, something I'd intended to do in the first place. I already learned how not to bite off more than I could chew, back when I lived in the needy old house.
I was resistant to what he was saying to me, too, because what I know-- and can teach on my own-- is not always the prettiest of processes. Quite definitely not pretty, as a matter of fact. I can teach people ways to get unstuck from the emotional aspects of chronic pain, and ways to detach from the toxicity in relationships, and approach either issue from a standpoint of unconditional love, using experiential and mind-body techniques; but when folks are processing heavily emotional things, it isn't always pretty. I know this, I accept this; I had envisioned something rather different for my business, than requiring a paper goods contract with Kleenex with which to sop up tears!
What I thought I wanted to teach was something different. I thought I wanted to teach basic survival skills leading up to not getting stuck in an emotional experience of chronic pain, or avoiding getting caught up in a toxic relationship in the first place. I had thought, initially, that would be better.
There was laughter. There was an internal, 'oh shit', as I realized my gentleman friend was right. Quickly followed thereafter by an expression of concern immediately followed by an order from him to take care of myself. We were so involved in the conversation that we had not realized that the Raynaud's Disease, a condition which I have,was flaring up again, and my hands were blue as a result. Whoops.
We both know from experience that the best thing to do to stop a flare, is to get me into a controlled, calm & warm environment ASAP, and so, cutting our meeting short and getting me into the car was the best thing to do.
By the time I got to my car, I knew it was going to be a bad flare; I wasn't too worried, since, in the car, I can turn the heater up full blast and the only person that is going to melt, is me--and this is a good thing.
Making a long story short, I got through the flare, and, when I was in a safe place to do so, even got to go into self-hypnosis to ask some questions; the information I got in returns was actually something I could do something with, for a change. Maybe not first calling the disease every name in the book helps.
The crux of the matter is that I am on the right track towards wanting to blog and teach via many methods. I just have to actually *do* it, one step at a time, using my gentleman friend as necessary, and not be afraid of the process, because I will survive, and thrive.
Until next time..peace!
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