I wrote this longhand a few days ago, and am now coming back to type it out as a post.
Today, I was in the mood to go for walk and maybe snap some photos. However, it's pretty cold here in New Hampshire, and, in places, there are several feet of snow on the ground. Not exactly ideal conditions to go traipsing around in.
I realized that my best and safest choice was to snag the camera just in case I saw something interesting, dig the car out of the snow, and take a drive to the Mall to do some walking around. Once dug out, I drove a different route than usual, on the still-icy streets, in the hopes of seeing something interesting, but, that was a no-go. Just more suburbia. Foo.
Finally arriving at my destination, I realized I was still chilled from having dug out the car in the first place, and with that realization, the first thing I did was snag a little cup of coffee to warm myself with while I set about my walk.
Coffee in hand, the first thing I noticed was that the 'buy buy buy' thing was *everywhere*. It was really uncomfortable at first. Yes, I know it was a shopping mall, and I know we're in a recession and all that jazz, and I know the competition for dollars is intense. It was still almost surreal how much blatant marketing there was, though. There was just so *much* of it. Too much for the space, really.
The vague sense of discomfort continued to get stronger, the further into the Mall proper I wandered, and I elected to do something different. Getting ahold of myself, I allowed the lights, the sounds, the smells and the ads to be self-hypnosis aids, and from there, I asked the discomfort I was experiencing to show me what it wanted to teach me, and it did not disappoint as I wandered around, looking at all the goods for sale, and watching all the assorted people around me scurrying to and fro. Allowing the whole scene to just be what it was.
Slowly, it dawned on me that I had either owned an object similar already to what I was seeing in the window, currently owned it, or had no need for the given object--and that it was all good.
Looking in the shop windows, I inwardly laughed politely at the Victoria's Secret display, because I'm a bit too well-endowed to carry off those sweet little nothing bits of lingerie. Once upon a time, however, I loved the stuff they put out.
Observing the offerings in some of the other shop windows, I realized with a smile that the fashions of the 80's are making a comeback. However, I'm not wearing seriously short skirts ever again, and I realized that I was OK with that.
I continued to stroll, and feel my feelings, and walking back and forth in my head between present time and a life already lived, smiling a bit at the memories, and being completely ok with where I was, rested spiritually, and ready to take on the next part of my evolution as a person.
Once I fully processed that realization, the sense of un-ease went away, and I was filled with a sense of calm and happiness. At least until I walked out of the Mall and back into the weather, whereupon I swore a bit at the cold and promised myself that I was moving to a warmer climate asap.
Until next time..peace
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