I admit it. I had a not-so-great start this morning. I was awakened far too early this morning, by 3 cats engaged in their individual versions of being Growly McGrouchypants. The scene was thisclose to an all out war occurring at the end of the hall.
I did not know in that moment, exactly what the issue was, and given the hour and my level of wakefulness, did not care. I do not allow fighting between the pets, end of story. So, I got my ass up and got the cats separated.
At that point, I was a little more awake, and with a groan, I realized also, that my roommate's dog was pitching a fit. When the cats and the dog are in agreement at being upset, I know there is a problem that must be addressed.
With a sigh, I went and put on some clothes, and headed downstairs to see what was what.
Turns out all this distress, was over the water dish being empty, and that this whole issue could have been solved if my cat had come and given me the cold nose treatment.
After the pets got a drink and calmed down, I made tea as I got to reflecting about cycles of distress and overwhelm in both business and personal relationships and how to easily break them.
Once upon a time, I would get into cycles of distress and overwhelm easily, and would bitch, moan and cry about having to do everything, and not getting _any_ help, even when it was asked for. This was before I knew that all overwhelm was, was simply a case of me giving too much of myself, or too much of my power, to either people, things, or situations that really didn't deserve the energy; this was also before I realized that assistance could come in ways I didn't bargain on, if I were patient, observant, and held an attitude of gratitude for what assistance I did get, in whatever form it came, and it was also before I really got the hang of effective communication.
To get out of feelings of overwhelm, the first thing that I had to make happen was a determination that I was getting out of the feelings of overwhelm, no ifs ands or buts about it, and that it was perfectly all right at this point to not know exactly how I was getting out of the Land of Overwhelm; the important part was that the goal has been set.
I learned, perhaps the hard way, that thinking to myself, 'if I could just get (whatever creates feelings of overwhelm) accomplished, then I would not feel overwhelmed.', is the pansy approach to take to getting free of overwhelm, and it's just not going to cut it over the long haul when one is frequently overwhelmed. Making the goal, stating, 'I am going to get free of the feeling of being overwhelmed' is the way to go.
The next step, was for me to sit down and make a physical list of the things that left me feeling overwhelmed. I then thought about each thing, circumstance, what-have-you, and decided whether or not it is anything I could cheerfully fix, or if whatever it is, is better off being blown off entirely, delegated to another party, or hired out to a professional for whatever reason.
The step after that, was to actually do these things. Make the fixes, make the changes, call the helpers, do the delegations, then sit back and see what happened both within myself, my circumstances and relationships.
I knew that once the overwhelm was released, it was important for me to not promptly get back into that state of overwhelm again, so, it was time to sit down with pen & paper, and take stock again, and ask myself, what situations or dealings with people brought about the state of overwhelm? What needs to change within those situations, or within those relationships, to prevent overwhelm from occurring again? How could this be accomplished so that it could be a win-win situation? If there is no win-win possible, what outcome could be most beneficial, and how can that be made to come about? That and more are the questions I asked myself after having cleared a feeling of overwhelm.
Until next time..peace.
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