When You Have a Wish

When you have a wish, it helps to be rock-solid certain of exactly why you have it.

For example, awhile back, I realized, or so I thought, that I wanted to be married again, and for all the so-called ‘normal’ reasons.  It wasn’t for several years while I was oh-so-stuck in the mire of that belief, that one day I just stopped and realized that marriage, for those so-called normal reasons, was not really what I wanted at all.

The irony is that I had been peeking in the window of a jewelry store at the time, and had been staring at one of the most outrageously huge solitaire diamond rings I’d ever seen, and in that moment, realized that I didn’t _”need”_ what that hellish huge ring represented.

Without going into a lot of details,  I realized that what I really wanted,  I could actually have, in entirely different ways that were (woohoo!) entirely up to me, as opposed to being half up to some guy I wasn’t sure I had met, yet.  I didn’t have to pine away for what I wanted.  I could go out and make those things that I wanted, happen for myself.

That said, I still would like very much to be married, but it’s not nearly the imperative it once was.   Instead, I can save marriage, and the journey to it, for its correct reason, and actually maybe enjoy the process towards getting there.

I started this blog, my coaching business, and my online business as the result of different wishes, that I can honestly say I am deathly certain of.  Also, as a side wish, to create a decent standard of living for myself and for Lou.

Yes, the blog, the coaching business and the online info-preneurial business are brand-new and I am struggling with them. But they’re still wishes,  slowly but certainly coming true by way of right actions (I hope) , and for the correct reasons.

Sometimes I get blocked, or scared as hell.  Sometimes all I can do is look at the wall, or look out the window, and wonder what the hell it is or was that I was thinking when I elected to go into business for myself.  Sometimes I am not what I teach and I’m a total asshat to myself, but I learned to forgive myself, learn the lesson from the experience, go forth and move on in a more confident way, mindful once more of my wishes, and more certain than ever that this is the correct path for me to take through life.

Until next time…peace.